Life was really easy when I was younger. No responsibility, no bills, money didn't matter because I could ask mom and dad. Now being an adult is terrifying. I think slowing down is going to be the thing that saves my life. I am coming to grips with a lot. The divorce is around the corner. I am making new friends, revisiting some of the finest things in life with art and music, starting to draw again, starting to write again. What is it then that needs to change? Why is there a void?
I look in the mirror with all of these positive motivating factors happening and I find no comfort. It's a challenge to see what I have become. The shell of a man that once was and is forcing himself to become whole again with the real person within. I need some time away from my normal daily routines and life. I need to really list the things that matter to me the most and focus on them, because having everything won't mean anything unless I take the time to develop them.
It's amazing that we have this genuine opportunity and people like me who realize how great it is to be alive, piss it away. It's time to wake up. It's time to start to really live again, get back to the days of old and roll with it. The picture below is my sarcasm that is screaming right now. It's like a drag queen with no make up, like a kid throwing a temper-tantrum. It's my raging bile duct.
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