saw skateboard P tonight

wish it was for real, but yeah, another dude who constantly inspires me.  god damn am i outta shape compared to that dude.

so let's assess, what does he do that i don't on the regular...

1. work out

2. no booze

3. eats good

well fuck it, there is my answer.  if you are leaving a relationship gentlemen, know that your shitty lite beer, is about the same as drinking a Guinness, so drink better.  lite beer is still going to make you fat as fuck as it has me.  the alcohol content to a Guinness is .2% higher than a lite, feel stupid?  i do and don't...Guinness although better quality is highly more expensive.  whatever.

be like Pharrell work out, don't drink and eat good and we will be on our way to the flat (but really flat) stomach.

til then...

let's drink up.

hurt and my friends hurt

i don't like to see anyone hurt.  recently i heard fruma say " there is an insecure side of me that just cries ", i was texting KK and i could feel the same hurt that i get when i just want to be left alone.

i thought i wanted to write, but i guess i don't.  it's 10:00 ish and i am restless.  i am tired, but the booze drives me on.  wish i had a bottle of 20 year old jameson whiskey to stare at since i refuse to open it.  but the miller lite flows on and on (and i'm out so now it may be wine).

i'll drink another night away!

slainte!

so i accomplished a lot today

but fuck am i tired now.  i am a bit buzzed and i think it's cos i didn't eat much yet today since i stayed so busy.  debating on calling people to hook up and go out or not.  whatever, i am already buzzed, no need to get wasted, which would be what happens...but then the schizophrenic side of me disagrees and says, it will be fine, just go asshole.

man i sometimes wish i was schizo, things would make so much more sense.

pulled from both arms, burned at both ends of the candlestick.  healthy or buzzed, yoga or sleep, meditation or tv, so many choices...it's a constant inner turmoil.  i wish i had some turmoil to listen to. hmmm, time for harder music and a shower, call it a day, stop the mental non-sense.

first time

doesn't that sound wierd.  i don't know what i want to type, but i want it to be able to be accessible when i need it...kajsdflkjasdlfjkals;dkfjlaksdfjlaksdflkajsdflkjasdfkljasldfjkalsdfj

so there.

fuck you.

good night.